family · Mothers · Mothers Day

My Mother’s Day

When I still had a mother, I would make a big deal of Mother’s Day.

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Buying the books, I thought she’d like, taking her out for Devonshire tea at a twee cafe in the Dandenong Ranges, or to a film I thought she might like. Looking back, I realise, with the benefit of hindsight, motherhood and late developing empathy, that we did what I wanted. I don’t recall asking her. Maybe I did; I hope I did.

In my case, on Mother’s Day just gone, I gave a month’s notice that I wanted to go away for the weekend -as a family. I would choose where and all they had to do was come along. I took the deadly silence to be acquiescence. Encouraged, I began to research and of course, picked a destination 4 hours away and chose to camp.

We drive up the Calder Highway, with our scruffy dog in tow. She seems confused but happy. When was the last time we’d gone away as a family – six years perhaps? Time and young adulthood meant those family trips were just a memory.

Nothing has really changed except there’s the new dog, new music on the playlist and we’re heading up to Sea Lake. The country unfolds before us. It is all sheep and wheat, browned-off paddocks, and rusty old cars.  A certain terrible beauty in it all. We eat at country bakery after country bakery looking for the perfect meat pie and vanilla slice. In Wedderburn, we explore the second-hand shops – one has a collection of chamber pots for sale. With great excitement, I was informed that there was an Australian Crawl vinyl album (Sirocco). We stop at the silo in Nullawil – the one of the farmer and his favourite working dog. No one is around except us and a friendly kelpie who materialises from nowhere gets many pats and then disappears when we leave.

Image – Isha Mistry

The earth is flatter and the sky is bigger out here. The nothingness and the flatness and the shimmering horizons mesmerise my young urban adults.

We pitch the tents, bang up against the camp kitchen so we don’t have to wander far to boil the kettle. Two little tents amongst the RVs belonging to the grey nomads. There are old vans retrofitted not as fancy as their shiny cousins. Little curtains flap in the late afternoon breeze, and there’s a vase of flowers on a camp table.

We drive out to Lake Tyrrell, the salt lake on the edge of town. Our dog sniffs at the salt and looks like a white wolf as she runs across the crusty surface. My daughters walk far out into the lake, silhouetted against a pre-sunset sky. It looks like they are standing in front of a water colour canvas- the largest one I’ve ever seen, ever will see.

Image-Erica Murdoch

We head to the Sea Lake pub, one of those with a first-floor balcony and clean, simple rooms. The local community wouldn’t let the pub die. We see some of the grey nomads from the caravan park, some girls in finery before heading off to the local debutante ball, and football teams dissecting the afternoon match.  The kitchen is closed as the pub is in between chefs, but there’s a food truck from Mildura selling kebabs at $20 a pop, and they go down well. My husband and I walk back to the caravan park, leaving our daughters to hang out with the debutantes and the footy players. We hunker down and listen to a podcast and (as usual) I drift off to sleep.

I am woken by a daughter bashing at the tent and asking, “Mum, why is the sky a pink colour at this hour?’

‘Must be the apocalypse’, I respond and pull out my phone to check.

I read a couple of Facebook posts and then the pink sky makes sense. I am out of my sleeping bag, so fast I surprise myself.

‘Australis, Southern Lights,’ I screech.

Image – Erica Murdoch

We stand looking at the southern sky. Shades of shimmer, pink, and red, and undefinable The stars sweep and tilt above – the Milky Way in all its smudgy glory. We stand there till it starts to fade and we are tired of looking at it through our camera screens. 

In the middle of the night when the Australis has faded to a pink tint, an argument breaks out a few streets away and there’s back and forth between a group of men. It dies down and I fall asleep only to be pounded awake by our unsettled dog with tummy ache. For her, I walk around Sea Lake at 4am through the empty streets. Happy Mother’s Day to me I think as we pace up and down. Appropriate really that I’m up in the wee small hours with a (fur) child – it’s what mothers do.

This middle-of-the-night adventure was probably an omen that the day was not to go as planned. Instead of a leisurely drive down the Silo Art Trail and winding up at the Stick Shed in Murtoa- our car conks out on a back road and we sit on the verge waiting for the RACV bloke. He arrives, diagnoses the problem, and says a new part is required and it’ll take a couple of days. He loads us, the car and the dog onto his truck and we bounce over the back roads to Charlton. He arranges a loan car- a 25-year-old Holden Astra that will go like the clappers – despite its rough-as-guts appearance.

Image – Erica Murdoch

He waves us off, saying, ‘I’ll text ya when it’s fixed. Probably three days. Memorable Mother’s Day for you eh?’

It sure was.

Travel

The Year That Was

I’m back – back from the nonblogging wilderness, back to reality, back from the trip of a lifetime to Canada and the USA. This was going to be a travel themed blog post( and it still is in part) but now will be more of a summary of 2023. Highlight upon highlight- I know, it’s annoying. My best of in travel, culture, reading, and anything else I can think of.

Continue reading “The Year That Was”
Uncategorized · Wedding

The Wedding

Winnie told me to do it. ‘On the day, go to the Lovers Rock up on Bowen Road and touch it. It will bring you good luck, lots of children.’ She had cackled and dug me in the ribs. Taoist mumbo-jumbo hocus pocus I had thought at the time.

But for this day, my day of days when I long for my mother’s voice and the touch of her hand, touching something resembling an Earth Goddess might have to do.

Looking down to my right I see the snaking traffic on Queens Road East and the neon signs fading out. Makes no difference that it is a Sunday – every day is a working day in Hong Kong. Even the day I get married.

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Photo by Puk Patrick on Unsplash

I reach Bowen Road as it runs along to Magazine Gap Road. Incense sticks seep smoke at the small shrines that line the roadway, and old men amble along, passing the time of day as they criss-cross each others’ paths. Some men kick their legs out as they walk- dressed in the uniform of old Hong Kong men; baggy grey shorts, white singlet, and Kung Fu slippers.

Under the banyan trees in the sitting out area a group of ladies practice tai chi. One of them has brought a portable cassette player and the crash and wail of Chinese opera drown out my thoughts. Mum used to do tai chi – until she got sick.

I hit my stride, breathing deeply and get all caught up with a group of Hash House Harriers, gweilos, training for next years Trailwalker. I use them as a front-runner clipping at their heels. I envy their rise and fall, their unity and their business.

I reached Lovers Rock. I usually run the other way so have never seen it before. But I recognise it. A giant penis-shaped piece of granite covered in daubs of red paint and prayer papers. In a crevice under the rock are Chinese god ornaments arranged in a small shrine. I bend to read the sign. I am at the Home of the God of Love apparently. Nearby two women pull oranges out of a striped bag and place the oranges next to the ornaments. An old man is setting up a card table and pulls out a sign in English and Chinese reading “Fortunes told.” I am not sure what to do. Winnie hadn’t gone into detail about that. I go up the steps and pat the side of the rock. Stuck on the side of the mossy surface are fragments of incense sticks and ash. There are yellowing photos of happy couples wedged in a crevice. I wonder why they left them there.

So that’s it I think as I turn to run back. Job done. Good luck won.

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Photo by Shuja- Zed  on Unsplash

Back at the apartment, my fiancee wanders around in a bath towel.  Our flatmate offers to make me tea. I ask for a gin and tonic – a double. She understands. She is Scottish and it is my day, and if I want to drink gin at 10am -that’s fine.

Later. Out on the street. Heart pounding as we hail a cab, me clutching the last minute bouquet with the tinfoil from the florists still wrapped around.

We arrive. Remember it’s the day of all my days. The wood panel walls of City Hall smell of polish and age and privilege.  Mix in the smells of designer bags and shoes, and the new suit scent of the nervous grooms. Funny, I am noticing all this. I should be looking at him only, him across the room pacing and looking at his watch. One of the nervous grooms. He laughs at something Nick says in his too loud English accent.

My girlfriends push and pull me. Photo here. Touch up there. Smudge the lipstick here. ‘Your hair is messed up,’ says Therese. ‘Let me fix it’.  I breathe deep. I look around. I see it. A door. A room just for me. Brides Room. The sign says so in English and Chinese. The glass on the door is frosted. I imagine what’s inside. Minions. Comfortable chaise lounge. Grapes. Pedicure. Glass of champagne for the blushing bride. MTV. It will be my room and my time.

I open the door. Inside there is nothing. Just a giant powder room with royal red carpet and mirrors down one wall for the prink and the fix. No minions and no chaise lounge and no champagne. A faint whiff of old carpet and I hear the whine of the air conditioner and the distant sound outside of Nick haw-hawing.

A knock on the door.

‘Are you OK in there?’ says my beloved.  ‘I think we are up next.’ I look in the mirror and my mother’s eyes look back at me. ‘Coming,’ I say.

Epilogue

Twenty-five years later we’re in Hong Kong on holidays. Some friends still live there, others have flown in from  Auckland and London. We’re reunited for a fiftieth birthday. And on our first morning, we walk past City Hall and there are the brides and the nervous grooms just like us a quarter of a century ago. We eat dim sum at Maxims with Nick(our best man) and Tania, our Scottish flatmate, and Dominque, the birthday girl- who were our witnesses. As the dim sum carts trundle past we toast our long friendship, our looming wedding anniversary and plan the next reunion for another fiftieth birthday in two years time.