family · Mothers · Mothers Day

My Mother’s Day

When I still had a mother, I would make a big deal of Mother’s Day.

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Buying the books, I thought she’d like, taking her out for Devonshire tea at a twee cafe in the Dandenong Ranges, or to a film I thought she might like. Looking back, I realise, with the benefit of hindsight, motherhood and late developing empathy, that we did what I wanted. I don’t recall asking her. Maybe I did; I hope I did.

In my case, on Mother’s Day just gone, I gave a month’s notice that I wanted to go away for the weekend -as a family. I would choose where and all they had to do was come along. I took the deadly silence to be acquiescence. Encouraged, I began to research and of course, picked a destination 4 hours away and chose to camp.

We drive up the Calder Highway, with our scruffy dog in tow. She seems confused but happy. When was the last time we’d gone away as a family – six years perhaps? Time and young adulthood meant those family trips were just a memory.

Nothing has really changed except there’s the new dog, new music on the playlist and we’re heading up to Sea Lake. The country unfolds before us. It is all sheep and wheat, browned-off paddocks, and rusty old cars.  A certain terrible beauty in it all. We eat at country bakery after country bakery looking for the perfect meat pie and vanilla slice. In Wedderburn, we explore the second-hand shops – one has a collection of chamber pots for sale. With great excitement, I was informed that there was an Australian Crawl vinyl album (Sirocco). We stop at the silo in Nullawil – the one of the farmer and his favourite working dog. No one is around except us and a friendly kelpie who materialises from nowhere gets many pats and then disappears when we leave.

Image – Isha Mistry

The earth is flatter and the sky is bigger out here. The nothingness and the flatness and the shimmering horizons mesmerise my young urban adults.

We pitch the tents, bang up against the camp kitchen so we don’t have to wander far to boil the kettle. Two little tents amongst the RVs belonging to the grey nomads. There are old vans retrofitted not as fancy as their shiny cousins. Little curtains flap in the late afternoon breeze, and there’s a vase of flowers on a camp table.

We drive out to Lake Tyrrell, the salt lake on the edge of town. Our dog sniffs at the salt and looks like a white wolf as she runs across the crusty surface. My daughters walk far out into the lake, silhouetted against a pre-sunset sky. It looks like they are standing in front of a water colour canvas- the largest one I’ve ever seen, ever will see.

Image-Erica Murdoch

We head to the Sea Lake pub, one of those with a first-floor balcony and clean, simple rooms. The local community wouldn’t let the pub die. We see some of the grey nomads from the caravan park, some girls in finery before heading off to the local debutante ball, and football teams dissecting the afternoon match.  The kitchen is closed as the pub is in between chefs, but there’s a food truck from Mildura selling kebabs at $20 a pop, and they go down well. My husband and I walk back to the caravan park, leaving our daughters to hang out with the debutantes and the footy players. We hunker down and listen to a podcast and (as usual) I drift off to sleep.

I am woken by a daughter bashing at the tent and asking, “Mum, why is the sky a pink colour at this hour?’

‘Must be the apocalypse’, I respond and pull out my phone to check.

I read a couple of Facebook posts and then the pink sky makes sense. I am out of my sleeping bag, so fast I surprise myself.

‘Australis, Southern Lights,’ I screech.

Image – Erica Murdoch

We stand looking at the southern sky. Shades of shimmer, pink, and red, and undefinable The stars sweep and tilt above – the Milky Way in all its smudgy glory. We stand there till it starts to fade and we are tired of looking at it through our camera screens. 

In the middle of the night when the Australis has faded to a pink tint, an argument breaks out a few streets away and there’s back and forth between a group of men. It dies down and I fall asleep only to be pounded awake by our unsettled dog with tummy ache. For her, I walk around Sea Lake at 4am through the empty streets. Happy Mother’s Day to me I think as we pace up and down. Appropriate really that I’m up in the wee small hours with a (fur) child – it’s what mothers do.

This middle-of-the-night adventure was probably an omen that the day was not to go as planned. Instead of a leisurely drive down the Silo Art Trail and winding up at the Stick Shed in Murtoa- our car conks out on a back road and we sit on the verge waiting for the RACV bloke. He arrives, diagnoses the problem, and says a new part is required and it’ll take a couple of days. He loads us, the car and the dog onto his truck and we bounce over the back roads to Charlton. He arranges a loan car- a 25-year-old Holden Astra that will go like the clappers – despite its rough-as-guts appearance.

Image – Erica Murdoch

He waves us off, saying, ‘I’ll text ya when it’s fixed. Probably three days. Memorable Mother’s Day for you eh?’

It sure was.

Adventures · Road trip · Travel

How to avoid potholes

The roads are different up there I was told. “Up there”, meant New South Wales. I had this conversation with a friend before I left for a trip up the inland route to Byron Bay. ‘You’ll notice a difference after you cross the border. Their roads are better than down here,’ he said. Down here meant Victoria.

Read more: How to avoid potholes

I beg to differ with my friend. The back roads in New South are a giant mess of potholes. My daughter had warned me too. The roads are crap she said. I dismissed this as the opinion of a 25-year-old city slicker.  Well. She was right too. The main roads, others call them the M1 and the Newell, are smooth, sleek and acceptable. The unsealed roads – off the highway- can be a different story.

Open road Kishan Mistry

We began to become experts at identifying, avoiding and grading potholes. The passenger became the pothole spotter by default. A simple depression in the road was considered Grade 1.  A hole the size of a small saucepan was Grade 4 and usually evoked expletives from the driver and passenger. Grade 6 holes were like enormous culverts in the road with jagged edges and imaginary pits of crocodiles below. These grade 6 potholes usually resulted in the driver screaming, and then coming to a dead stop to check if we still had intact tyres.

Tyre deflated Sebastian Huxley – unsplash

As we shuddered and clanked and swerved over those gaping holes in the road I started to think about roads and potholes and all things in between. City woman that I am I do not tend to think too much about the state of our roads. I take them for granted like I do our public health system, clean drinkable water and good coffee.

Out there, locals shake their heads. “It is water damage, all this bloody rain, that’s what done it to these roads.” These are the things we heard over and over again. That and a torrent of complaints about the three layers of government: council, state government, and the Federal Government. All of them bear some responsibility for maintaining the roads. From the locals, there is an inevitable shoulder shrug and an acceptance of that’s how it is.

As we drove north, I googled about the state of our highway and by-way systems. I learned that wheel and tyre damage account for over 15,000 call-outs to the local motoring organisation I the month of February.  I learned that not all of this is caused by potholes but they play a large part. I fell down an internet rabbit hole about road funding works and learn that even if there is money, good weather is needed to make the essential repairs.

But should we accept it with a shrug? Do we need to look at our entire road network and come up with better answers? Is road maintenance enough? Building better roads was a slogan in the 80s. Perhaps roads are built simply with an eye for getting from A to B? There’s more to it than that. Changes in vehicle use, the type of vehicles, local federal and state politics and the elephant in the pot-holed room- climate change. Should we be pressuring our representatives to put more money, time and resources into our rural road networks? That’s a rhetorical question by the way! And I have no real answers or solutions. Other than that you can’t avoid potholes as hard as you might try.

Pandanus Erica Murdoch

In between dodging the road ditches, we fell in love with Tamworth, chilled out in Yamba, watched Midnight Oil at Bluesfest and blissed out for a week’s isolation in Smiths Lake when we were laid up with Covid. (Thanks Sonya for your generosity with the house!) I now know where the mid-north coast is, and that there really is a place called Boomerang Beach.

Boomerang Beach Erica Murdoch

The happy end to our story was that we made it home with no mechanical incidents. We suspected a slow leak, but grew complacent. Several weeks after our return, a kilometre from my house, I bumped against a curb whilst parking and the front tyre blew. I limped home on the spare and when our mechanic looked at our shredded tyre he said, ‘I can’t believe you got back from Byron on that.’

Neither could we.